Ladies, please ignore the false rumor that after age 40 your best years are all behind you. At middle age, I trust you’re not burdened down with psychological burdens like these:
* “What in the heck do I want to do with the rest of my life?”
* “I feel trapped in an uninspiring marriage and family life–without hurting loved ones, how can I break my chains?”
* “I’m surely over-the-hill. I have no authentic dreams so what do I have to look forward to?”
* “I’m scared to death about getting old, missing the boat and ending my life alone and lonely!”
* “My youth, beauty and sense of adventure all have flown–who in the world wants to hang out with an old lady?”
If you answered “yes” to one or more of these issues, right now is an appropriate moment to get out of the robot mode and to begin living on purpose. Why not reimagine your life to uncover that joyful, positive, purpose-driven human you were created to be? Let’s start with your physical appearance. No, you’re no longer an early-twenties super-model, but I trust physical beauty never was your primary purpose in life. From age 40 on, your straight-forward purpose should be simply to look the best you can for your age today. Take off those few extra pounds, get yourself in shape, dress stylishly for your age and be proud of the physical image you put forward. Now you can concentrate on your true purpose in life–refinement and display of your inner beauty.
How best can you move forward from current daily frustrations to a second half of your dreams? As a first step, you will need to develop then visualize a clear picture of the future you seek. You would never leave on vacation without a crystal-clear destination in mind along with a map or GPS to direct you there. In a similar manner, it’s up to you and you alone to assess who you are now–your strengths, talents and vulnerabilities–and who ideally you want to be. During this process of self-actualization, for heaven’s sake have confidence who you are and begin to love yourself unconditionally!
This may sound self-centered, but it is extremely important that you love, position and service yourself before attempting to serve and sacrifice for your husband, your kids or for anyone else. In the Bible, Jesus tells you to “love your neighbor as yourself.” So many of us forget the “as yourself” part. You’ll never really get others to pay attention or service your needs until you kindly but firmly let them know what those needs are. Also, live on the sunny side–no one will want to service your needs–or even be around you–if you routinely frown, complain and appear uncomfortable in your own skin.
For years–even decades–so many of you ladies have sacrificed for us husbands and our kids–now it is high time we begin sacrificing for you! This very day, why not concentrate first on your own wishes, needs and desires? I know that sounds great, but many of you still have careers, husbands, teenagers–perhaps even small children at home. Is it really possible to concentrate on your own dreams while you continue to serve others? The short answer is an enthusiastic “YES”! The longer answer is you need to change your family’s dance. First become CEO of you, seek out joy and purpose in your life. At the same time, continue to give genuine love and support to your husband and children. The difference is, you will make it lovingly made it clear that you have your own dreams and that in return you are asking for their genuine love and support.
For suggestions on defining your dreams and scoping out your very own strategic plan for the second half, tune into the March 21 installment of my Internet radio program ‘Middle Age Can Be Your Best Age. My guest, life coach Maria Allyn will tell us all about ‘Midlife Mastery,’ a clear strategy to ease the struggles of middle age. To locate our program, simply enter in Google search the phrase “middle age your best age” and our program link will appear at the top of page one!