As we begin a new year, do you find youself stuck in the same old unsatisfying state of consciousness where you began last year and the year before? Each year, do you promise yourself to change, try your darndest but fail every time to accomplish realistic goals and move forward to a brighter future? Who do you blame for your repeated failures: others, prior decisions you can’t alter or “circumstances” beyond your control? Guess what: the real problem isn’t other people, past decisions or present circumstances: it’s YOU!
The good news is you can overcome internal roadblocks to progress but first you must identify and remove subconscious sabotage which–unbeknownst to you–is holding you back. The situation is like the driver of a vehicle attempting to speed down the Interstate with one foot intentionally on the petal and the other foot unintentionally pressing on the brake. That vehicle will not progress very far toward its destination, will it? In like manner, your subconscious mind may be impeding your journey without you even knowing the brake is on.
Several years ago, I desperately needed self-inspiration but knew not where to find it. I had lost my CFO position a year earlier in a corporate takeover and blindly sought to be hired as CFO for another company. After months of frustrating job search, rapidly losing confidence and beginning to panic, I went to a professional counselor who performed an experiment completely new to me. I was instructed to hold out my arm in a rigid position while he had me repeat several statements and answer several questions.
Much to my surprise, when my subconscious mind agreed with my statement or answer, my arm muscles strengthened and my arm became rigid; when my inner being did not agree, the muscles loosened and my arm became limp. During my session, not only did I discover that deep down, my inner consiousness was brimming with self-confidence but I also identified some painful but long-forgotten incidents from my childhood which years ago implanted unwarranted subconscious doubts about my ultimate potential for success and happiness. Following my therapy session, job search became easier, far less stressful and more productive.
I since have learned that my counselor was using the time-tested method of Energy Muscle Testing or EMT. I highly recommend you try EMT as an essential tool for removing subconscious roadblocks to a bountiful, stress-free second half. Your body can inform you where the sabotage lies. You will need an exercise partner to prevent self-deception but you won’t need to reveal any “deep-dark” secrets. You can simply think various statements or answers in your head and have the other person observe whether your muscles become rigid or limp. In my session, I used arm muscles for EMT but you can try any muscle in your body; several experts recommend testing by forming a circle using the thumb and the ring finger.
In most cases, identifying a sabotaging subconscious block goes a long way towards removing it once and for all. You will come to recognize the block whenever it rears its ugly head and to realize how irrelevant this unfortunate incident from your childhood is to your circumstances today. Should you need help in removing or overcoming the blockage, listen in to the January 21, 2013 broadcast of my weekly Internet radio program, “Middle Age Can Be Your Best Age.” One of my guests, Dr. Daphna Slonim, has written a book titled THE FIRST KEY: How to Remove Subconscious Sabotage.
In addition to uncovering subconscious roadblocks, you will need to recognize three little creatures rattling around in your brain: your inner PIG, your inner APE, and your false Ego. The PIG and the APE are acromyms coined by the second guest on my January 21, 2013 show, noted coach and author Krishna Pendyala. PIG stands for “Pursue Instant Gratification” and APE for “Avoid Painful Experiences.” The Ego as he defines it is the self-identity constructed for you by your own mind: that’s all that you think you are including many things that aren’t you at all! Your false ego is not the real you, but do you know the difference?
The PIG and the APE are your false Ego’s minions; they exist within your brain to feed and protect the Ego, the persona you imagine yourself to be. As human beings, all of us are susceptible to some form of desire for instant gratification; hence we eat too much, overspend or plunge into foolish sexual encounters. Beginning in our youth, we condition ourselves to avoid pain, oft-times preventing self from attempting anything new or different. Working in concert, the PIG and the APE drive us to chase material pleasures and to avoid discomfort, constantly on the lookout to protect our Ego. Unfortunately, the comforts and pleasures we receive more often than not are fleeting.
How aware are you of the things you truly desire out of life? At middle age, what will it take to ensure your second half is filled with personal joy, meaningful relationships and a generous contribution to the joy and well being of others? (No one can remain joyful and fulfilled for long through self-gratification only.) What productive activities will you pursue, both before and after “retirement” that both contribute value to others and make you happy?
A worthy goal for anyone at midlife is “full awareness”–awareness of who you really are and what you genuinely want out of life, decoupled from the mind-created (with help from Madison Avenue and those Super Bowl commercials) false ego. In my book, I identify this as “waking up to life.” As a renewed individual, you truly know yourself, are in control of your emotions, are comfortable in your relationships and recognize that you are at one with all humanity and with a higher power.
Once you discover your true identity, you will become exquisitely and joyfully aware of yourself and of the world around you. Without question, you will assume the role of CEO over your own emotions. You will come to recognize, acknowledge and control instincts generated by your PIG, APE and False Ego. You will access a larger common intelligence in all that you think and do. In every circumstance, good or bad, you will offer light not darkness to those around you. You will listen to others’ points of view and seek “both/and” rather than “either/or” solutions. You will become the one person in any problem or emergency who rises above the challenge and becomes an inspiration to others.
To learn more about EMT, the PIG, the APE and the False Ego, tune into my January 21, 2013 Internet broadcast of Middle Age Can Be Your Best Age. To find us, type in our program name on Google search; our link is at the top of page one. You can listen to this week’s program, or any of our prior programs, at any time at your convenience. I also invite you to preview my book, A Mid-Life Challene WAKE UP! Best of luck in removing every roadblock and waking up to the joyful, bountiful and productive second half of life you so richly deserve.