Like so many, are you dissatisfied–perhaps even miserable–with midlife circumstances today? Most mornings, do you wake up dreading the day ahead, simply wishing you could sleep in? Are fear and anxiety robbing you of the energy, self-confidence and clear-headed thinking needed to confront today’s challenges? If you’re like me , I’ll bet your natural tendency is to away run from or bury negative thoughts and emotions. No one likes to dwell on the negatives–but sometimes they just won’t go away.
Most of us are familiar with the universal law of attraction: by consistently thinking and visualizing peace, joy and success, we can bring positive outcomes into our lives. Unfortunately, the opposite outcome occurs when we live in fear and dwell upon negative posibilities: we thereby draw unfortunate outcomes into our lives. Everyone wants to get rid of negativity but for many it’s easier said than done. Here’s a unique idea: instead of running away, why not connect with and embrace your negative thoughts and emotions? Actually, it is empowering!
In preparing for a big game, coaches first must scout out and know their opponent. In like manner, you should scope out and prepare an inventory of everything that’s “wrong” in your life today. Don’t stop there. For every negative aspect of your life, attempt to answer four questions:
- “When did this negative aspect first creep into my life?”
- “What were the initial circumstances surrounding the birth of this negative emotion?”
- “Who is responsible–initially and for the fact that this negative remains in my life today? (Warning: Placing all the blame on “others” or “circumstances” seldom helps to solve the problem.)
- What is my present response to this negative aspect of my life and is it appropriate?
Now that you have identified what’s wrong in your life today, here’s the key: how effectively are you confronting, accepting or compensating for each negative? With practice, you can begin to purge certain negative emotions from your mind: why carry around that resentment of your sister-in-law for something that happened years ago? Others may take some hard work: if you hate your present job, begin formulating a realistic plan to earn an alternative living on your own terms. Those negatives which you can’t eliminate, you must condition yourself to accept then move on. If you are “too short”, “too tall”, “don’t look like a movie star” or “are not good at math”, so what? Irreversible circumstances such as these are not a valid excuse for remaining miserable.
Look back on your past only as a guidepost to the future. Above all else, avoid self-blame and the shoulda’s! The remainder of the formula: divorce yourself and your true value as a human being from all past and present negative circumstances:
- You are not a failure as a child of God.
- Difficult circumstances today in no way eliminate the possibility of a bright and shining future.
- Today is the bottom: from this day forward you are taking control emotionally and you’ll find a way out.
- No one else can hold you back and make you fear the future unless you let them.
- From now on, you’ll flow with life’s current, not against it.
- From here on, you take full responsibility for the remainder of your journey through life. You are CEO of you!
Believe it or not, suppressing fear, anger and worry actually is harmful to your health. Persistently negative internal emotions may have been programmed into your subconscious mind, perhaps in early childhood. Over time, bottled-up negative thoughts and emotions begin to impact your physical wellbeing. Some obvious examples: unhappiness leads to overeating leads to unwanted pounds, worry leads to loss of sleep which slows down your intuitive thinking, your physical abilities and your reflexes, recurring stress breaks down your immune system and makes you more susceptible to disease.
Once you have identified the primary negatives in your life today and have taken steps to push them aside, you will have plenty of room for positive thoughts and emotions to enter. This will point the law of attraction in your direction and in turn lead to a joyful and bountiful second half of life under your terms. Want to learn more? Tune in to the November 19, 2012 edition of my Internet radio program, “Middle Age Can Be Your Best Age” on WebTalkRadio.net. Guest Laurie Huesinger, noted author and holistic therapist, descibes how to “toggle” the negative feelings and emotions out of your brain, replacing them with visions of success, joy and tranquility leading to subsequent positive outcomes in your life.
A second guest, business coach and yoga teacher Michael Harris, will inspire you with his story of falling down then getting up, overcoming life to live.