At middle age are you frustrated or miserable with the way your life has turned out? Do you passionately wish for something different? Then doggone it–take the first steps to drastically improve your circumstances and your outlook on the future! What on earth are you waiting for?
To get started, here are three questions to ask yourself:
- “What do I really want out of the rest of my life?”
- “Why don’t I already have it?” (Please don’t simply blame “others” or “circumstances I can’t control”–these excuses are a surefire pathway to nowhere.)
- “Honestly, what am I willing to do to achieve the objectives and lifestyle I crave?”
Once you’ve answered these three questions, stare at yourself in the mirror and inform yourself face-to-face: “I can do this!”
Do you sincerely seek a better life at middle age? You and I deserve a second half filled with accomplishment, joy, satisfaction and bountiful service to others. At middle age, you are just now entering the prime time of life. Once renewed in mind, spirit and determination, you’ll confirm without a doubt that life is anything but a steady downhill ride after age 45!
Let’s assume that a carefree but productve life is your primary objective at middle age–or at any age. How do you overcome the fearful, self-limiting image that for so long has been holding you back? For starters, here are a few suggestions:
- Begin treating yourself like the person you care most about in the whole world. No, self-love need not be narcissistic. Remember the words of Jesus in the bible: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” You can’t really give to others if you don’t love and honor who you are and what you have to contribute.
- Recall those golden interludes from your past. If need be, go back to your childhood. Pause to remember your warm feelings and the people and circumstances that made you feel so good. Yes, you can be happy!
- Write down every negative circumstance in your life today. When did each one begin? What is blocking you from either eliminating or at least compensating for each negative. (You can’t very effectively attack your problems until you know for certain what they are.)
- Look back on past mistakes, but only as positive inspiration for the future. Why did you make those “bad” choices? No regrets! You understand today that you may have been fearful and naive back then but you are wiser now and can trust yourself to make better decisions going forward.
- Above all else, don’t continue to live your life “happily miserable.” What in the world do you gain by assuming the role of perpetual victim? Routinely anticipating then complaining about negative outcomes darkens the hour not only you but for all those around you.
- Overcome personal negatives by concentrating on the needs and aspirations of others. If you’re busy making someone else happy or helping someone else out of a jam, you won’t sit around feeling sorry for yourself.
Here’s an ironic excuse for holding youreself back at middle age: “If I try something new and fail, I’ll have nothing left! It’s better to stick with things the way they are so at least I have my dreams.” Please ask yourself this question: Does it make sense to cling to a dream which you have no intention of pursuing. I think not! If the dream is way out there, modify it to meet reality then have a positive experience chasing after it.
Now that you have a clear picture of what’s wrong in your life today, you can begin correcting it by defining then visualizing the life of your dreams. Are you aware of the universal law of attraction? Once you determine precisely what you want most out of life (your own vision, not someone else’s), consciously fill in the details, persistently visualize yourself thinking and behaving like the person of your dreams, over time–perhaps against all odds–you will become that person. This may sound far-fetched now but believe me, I’ve tried the law of attraction and it works!
As you create in your mind and begin to behave like the newly positive “improved you” you will need whenever possible to avoid negative circumstances and negative individuals. Obviously you can’t avoid your spouse, your boss, your co-workers, your teenage children or your lifelong best friend but here are six possible sanity-saving strategies:
- Consistently refuse to second negative comments, especially gosip or compaints. It’s a lot less satisfying for “happily miserable” individuals if no one else will share their misery.
- When another confronts you, always refuse to argue back–it takes two to tango.
- Give full attention and find out what’s really bothering a complainer. Often the real problem has nothing at all to do with the immediate issue Mr. or Ms. Negative is complaining about.
- Express sincere concern and pledge within your power to help make things better. “When you hurt, I hurt.”
- As a last straw, issue an ultimatum: “Congratulation for being the one person who everone feels sorry for. Unfortunately, I no longer think like you do so I may have to leave the room if the conversation gets too negative.”
- Best idea: suggest to those you love and to those around you every day that the two or more of you renew together. It generally is easier to renew as a team with common goals, shared resources, friendly competition and constructive criticism.
Sadly, it’s sometimes easier and less troublesome to agonize over past “wrong” decisions, blame circumstances and to accept an unsatisfactory status-quo than it is to venture out into the vast unknown of possibilities. It may be easier but the end result is the emotionally barren “I shoulda“, leading eventually eventually at life’s end to the mournful “I could have been.”
At 40 or 50, with a little effort, you will be able to recapture the enthusiasm of youth but filter it through the lense of responsible adult experience–a winning combination! Isn’t it past time to shake off negativity, disappointment, indecision, regret and self-guilt and to move forward with confidence and joy? If you can first define, then visualize and ultimately execute a sound positive game plan, you will turn indecision and confusion into passionate action. At this moment you may not know how to get from “here” to “there” but the answers will come to you as you begin to envision then act out the life of your dreams.
To learn more about midlife inspiration and the benefits of the powerful law of attraction, tune into my Internet radio program, Middle Age Can Be Your Best Age on www.WebTalkRadio.net. Listen in any time at your convenience beginning Monday, October 29, 2012. My guest, Paula Renaye, America’s “tough love” coach, will demonstrate how to overcome any obstacle that may be holding you back and she’ll direct your path to the positive life of your dreams. Once you abandon your fear of the future, I’ll bet like me you’ll discovder that the biggest obstacle to your joyful second half was right between the ears.