How About a New Kind of New Year’s Resolutions This Year?

Like me, are you sick and tired of the same old resolutions you make every January 1 (lose 25 pounds, get in shape, get that promotion at work) only to give them up–if you even remember them–by mid-February?

For January 1, 2017 here’s a novel idea:

This year, resolve to help your spouse, your kids, your significant other or any other extra special individual in your life to accomplish their 2017 resolutions.

Of course, you first need to determine what your loved ones’ resolutions are. Here’s a process I recommend:

Step 1: Sit down–away from all the hustle & bustle–with your spouse/significant other.
Have a frank conversation, just you two, to discover your spouse’s most important priority goals for the new year–career, personal and family. How you can help your spouse achieve those goals? Also, share your goals and priorities for 2017 and ask for your spouse’s help.

Step 2: If you have kids, you and your spouse should sit down with each offspring, ages six through nineteen, to determine that child’s personal goals for the year. (You know your kids best–it’s up to you whether to meet with each child individually or to meet all together as a family.)

Notes:
1. I don’t mean to leave four and five-year-olds out: if they’re mature enough to conceptualize annual goals, include them.

2. If your teens are reluctant to cooperate, emphasize that the meeting’s all about helping them achieve their most important personal goals.

3. For certain, don’t ask teens to discuss their romantic interests! Your goal is to determine teen goals and aspirations, not their social lives. (No, your 16-year-old daughter is not going to reveal that ‘hot guy’ she’d really like to date!)

4. These parent/child sessions need to be low key, completely voluntary and pressure free. Most importantly, afterwards you and your spouse must demonstrate a ‘good faith’ effort to help each child accomplish the objectives they reveal.

5. For your kids, I’m talking about personal aspirations, near-term or long-term. Your 11-year-old son wants to make the Little League ‘Majors’ next summer. Your 17-year-old daughter needs to select the “right” college for her and apply next fall for acceptance in 2018. Can you instruct and practice baseball with your son? Can you help guide your daughter through college selection, application and request for financial aid?

Step 4:After your 2017 meetings with loved ones, go off by yourself and write down 2017 goals that were expressed by your spouse/significant other and by each child.

Step 5: After giving it some thought, for each expressed goal write down specific actions you might take to help your spouse or child to accomplish that goal. The end objective: for each individual a firm “Resolution Keeper Action Plan.”

Once completed, guess what: this New Year’s you will have made a firm commitment to help others meet their objectives rather than simply worrying about your own! Doesn’t it feel better to give than to receive? Your positive attitude and promise to assist loved ones will go a long way in helping them keep their New Year’s resolutions.

A couple of warnings:

1. Never attempt to tell a spouse or teenager what you think their resolutions should be. Resolutions are all about your loved one’s goals in life, not yours.

2. Do not be judgmental–if legal, ethical and not harmful to others, a loved one’s resolutions are OK.

To summarize, studies demonstrate that most resolutions fail–only 8% of us will accomplish all our 2017 targets. In setting your goals for the new year, keep three factors in mind:

* You can’t set resolutions to please someone else–this simply doesn’t work.
* Your resolutions will not be kept without a clear, concise, step-by-step action plan to reach your goals.
* You must take full responsibility for goal accomplishment. No excuses; if distracted you will need to work extra hard to get back on track.

There’s nothing wrong with also setting some New Year’s Resolutions for yourself. Your annual goals must be clear, concise, not too easy but not impossible to attain. It’s also a good idea to share those resolutions with your loved ones and to ask for their help.

So here’s a great idea for New Year’s Day: Sit down together as a family to share each other’s 2017 resolutions. Make a firm family pact of cooperation so that every person’s resolutions are accomplished. The intended shared message: “Each family member matters and we’re all in this together.”

A most joyous New Year to all from Middle Age Renewal Training and from our weekly Internet radio program, Middle Age Can Be Your Best Age.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Oh So Often–Good Comes Out of Bad!

Hard to believe, but so often in life–in yours, in mine and in that of people we know, a tragic loss, an immense setback or a seemingly insurmountable challenge works out for the best over time. On the upcoming June 27 installment of my Internet radio program Middle Age Can Be Your Best AgeI interview college funding coach Steven Roberts. Right before Steven was scheduled to start college, his sister was in a bad car wreck. Parental funds that were intended to help Steven pay for college went to pay his sister’s medical bills instead; suddenly Steven was completely on his own.

Steven Roberts refused to give up on his college plans. Instead, he immediately got down to business, researched diligently for scholarship, grant and part-time work options. The end result: Steven was able completely on his own to more than pay for four years of college (he had a little money left over) without incurring any student debt.

Here’s the great news: Steven Roberts, the ambitious young recent college graduate, applied what he’d learned from self-funding his own education and founded his CollegeCashChampion coaching website, wrote his acclaimed book Winning the Money Game in College and since has helped thousands of students and their parents to save BIG on college. Great good for a whole lot of people out of bad fortune!

You can learn a whole lot more about Steven’s college funding tactics along with suggestions for you to save money on my June 27 program. Please plan to tune in!

Here’s another example of “good from bad” , this one from long ago. In 1947 a good but not great minor league pitcher (career record 22-16) injured his pitching arm and had to give up baseball. As a fall back, He took up music and a few short years later was the world-renowned country and crossover pop music star Gentleman Jim Reeves

My personal story is similar, though far less spectacular. If I hadn’t lost my CFO job in a corporate takeover, I undoubtedly would not have written my two books nor started hosting my weekly Internet radio program. It took several years of frustration but I’m forever grateful that this personal career transition occurred.

I was coughed out by corporate at age 44 so I speak from experience. Please keep this in mind: at 40, 45 or 50, your most joyful and productive years are by no means all behind you. But here’s a little secret: in times of financial strain, career upheaval, unemployment, marital breakup or starting over, by no means should you depend solely upon your internal resources. You don’t need to! I wouldn’t be where I am today without communication with and assistance from a higher power.

As a Christian, I refer to the divine power as GOD and his only son JESUS CHRIST. If you’re Jewish, you worship and seek counsel from YEHWAY; if a follower of Islam, from ALLAH! If an agnostic, you may refer to the higher power as “Universal Intelligence. Whatever your religion, here are two irrefutable facts:

1) With our limited brain capacity and knowledge, it is not possible for any human being to fathom fully the divine majesty and complexity of GOD, the Creator of our universe!

2) As the Divine Intelligence, the essence of GOD is best described by only two words: LOVE and TRUTH.

Here’s another amazing fact! Remember in the Christian Bible when Jesus proclaims: “I am in the Father and the Father is in me.” In fact, since all were created by a single, common Divine Power, there is a little bit of GOD in every one of us and we all are connected in spirit to everyone else on the planet. Think of GOD as the ocean and of you and I as individual waves. To expand our knowledge and understanding and to have our prayers answered, it is essential that each one of us reach out beyond our own little wave of existence by connecting with the unlimited power of the ocean–GOD and the universe. In effect, in our prayers we need to invite a little bit more of GOD to come inside.

Because the universe is infinite–has no beginning nor end–reaching out in joy to accomplish our goals–with love and respect–in no way detracts from the peace, joy and welfare of others. Clearly a ‘win/win’ proposition–so why can’t we all get along?

Needless to say, sometimes when we pray for healing or spiritual enlightenment–for ourselves or for a loved one–or seek a way out of a tough situation, we don’t receive an immediate, self-gratifying response. Bad things–hurricanes, earthquakes, car wrecks, job loss, terminal illness or premature death of a loved one–all-too-often happen to ‘good people.’ None of us can always control external events, but we can control our reaction to them. With a consistently positive, confident attitude, we are prepared to respond constructively and judiciously to the next big external event, good or bad!

I do not believe that GOD, the Universal Intelligence, controls every moment of our lives on Earth from birth to passing away. In fact, GOD has gifted us with FREE WILL. Without that wonderful but sometimes frightening gift, we humans would be little different from horses, cattle, dogs, birds of the air, even insects, all of which react solely on instinct!

In spite of free will, GOD and the universe routinely do place opportunities in front of every one of us. The difference between success and failure, joy and sorrow, contentment and frustration is our ability to spot opportunities and the courage to take advantage of them. It is so much easier to do so if we believe in ourselves 100%, have a clear understanding of precisely who we our–our passions, likes and dislikes, emotions, strengths and shortcomings along with a positive vision of the person we seek to become. Our minds can determine and control our reality: the positive Law of Attraction!

One final piece of advice: RELAX; you don’t have to resolve every single challenge today, tomorrow or next week! The job you are interviewing for tomorrow is not the final fantastic job opportunity you’ll ever have. There is one thing you and I should have learned by middle age: whatever we lose or miss out upon today, something better may lie just around the corner. The promotion you didn’t receive will be quickly forgotten once you land your dream job–an opportunity precisely suited to your talent, personality and passion.

Here’s a recommended series of actions to de-stress and visualize your future:

1) Sit back, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths.

2) Concentrate for a few moments solely on yourself: the fabulous, one-of-a-kind human being you are, the unique value you bring to the world and to a potential employer, what really turns you on and the milestones you would most like to accomplish over the remainder of your career.

3) Now ask yourself: “What matters most in my life? What is the targeted top rung of my career? How much am I willing to sacrifice to reach that top rung?

Guess what: Once you have a crystal-clear vision of precisely who you are today, where and how you wish to focus your talents and where you want to end up, you’ll be miles ahead of your competition. Next go to work on your personal marketing plan: you have one fabulous product to sell: YOU! By all means, don’t sell yourself short but never place all your eggs in one basket. Always be prepared with potential backup ideas. If one fails to pan out you’ll be confidently ready to challenge the next one.

Believe me–if you take time out in advance to take a MENTAL VACATION, praying for guidance and expanding your GOD-nature inside, envisioning and mapping out your future career then focusing in on high-potential opportunities you will either be hired for that ideal next job or you’ll create your own! Regardless of your present challenge or recent loss, in no time you will experience a positive result.

I PROMISE YOU!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ladies, Midlife Is the Right Time to Reimagine Your Life

Ladies, please ignore the false rumor that after age 40 your best years are all behind you. At middle age, I trust you’re not burdened down with psychological burdens like these:

* “What in the heck do I want to do with the rest of my life?”
* “I feel trapped in an uninspiring marriage and family life–without hurting loved ones, how can I break my chains?”
* “I’m surely over-the-hill. I have no authentic dreams so what do I have to look forward to?”
* “I’m scared to death about getting old, missing the boat and ending my life alone and lonely!”
* “My youth, beauty and sense of adventure all have flown–who in the world wants to hang out with an old lady?”

If you answered “yes” to one or more of these issues, right now is an appropriate moment to get out of the robot mode and to begin living on purpose. Why not reimagine your life to uncover that joyful, positive, purpose-driven human you were created to be? Let’s start with your physical appearance. No, you’re no longer an early-twenties super-model, but I trust physical beauty never was your primary purpose in life. From age 40 on, your straight-forward purpose should be simply to look the best you can for your age today. Take off those few extra pounds, get yourself in shape, dress stylishly for your age and be proud of the physical image you put forward. Now you can concentrate on your true purpose in life–refinement and display of your inner beauty.

How best can you move forward from current daily frustrations to a second half of your dreams? As a first step, you will need to develop then visualize a clear picture of the future you seek. You would never leave on vacation without a crystal-clear destination in mind along with a map or GPS to direct you there. In a similar manner, it’s up to you and you alone to assess who you are now–your strengths, talents and vulnerabilities–and who ideally you want to be. During this process of self-actualization, for heaven’s sake have confidence who you are and begin to love yourself unconditionally!

This may sound self-centered, but it is extremely important that you love, position and service yourself before attempting to serve and sacrifice for your husband, your kids or for anyone else. In the Bible, Jesus tells you to “love your neighbor as yourself.” So many of us forget the “as yourself” part. You’ll never really get others to pay attention or service your needs until you kindly but firmly let them know what those needs are. Also, live on the sunny side–no one will want to service your needs–or even be around you–if you routinely frown, complain and appear uncomfortable in your own skin.

For years–even decades–so many of you ladies have sacrificed for us husbands and our kids–now it is high time we begin sacrificing for you! This very day, why not concentrate first on your own wishes, needs and desires? I know that sounds great, but many of you still have careers, husbands, teenagers–perhaps even small children at home. Is it really possible to concentrate on your own dreams while you continue to serve others? The short answer is an enthusiastic “YES”! The longer answer is you need to change your family’s dance. First become CEO of you, seek out joy and purpose in your life. At the same time, continue to give genuine love and support to your husband and children. The difference is, you will make it lovingly made it clear that you have your own dreams and that in return you are asking for their genuine love and support.

For suggestions on defining your dreams and scoping out your very own strategic plan for the second half, tune into the March 21 installment of my Internet radio program ‘Middle Age Can Be Your Best Age. My guest, life coach Maria Allyn will tell us all about ‘Midlife Mastery,’ a clear strategy to ease the struggles of middle age. To locate our program, simply enter in Google search the phrase “middle age your best age” and our program link will appear at the top of page one!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

For Midlife Renewal–Change Your Energy!

This time of year many of us Northerners are low on energy, tired of the cold and snow–but heck, I guess some of you living in FL, CA or South TX may be low on energy also. In fact at middle age in any season many of us are stuck on neutral, lacking a positive vision, energetic goals and genuine purpose in life. I trust you’re not one who mistakenly believes that your best days are all behind you!

If low on energy, would you like to discover a brand new, not difficult path to abundance in every aspect of your life–from wealth to relationships; from health to peace of mind? A recent guest on my program, author and “common sense psychic” Phyllis King assures us that such a path does exist through the ‘Energy of Abundance.’ That’s the title of her new book and her argument holds water!

Those who are into quantum physics (not me!) understand the dynamics of energy. Everything around us (in fact everything in the universe) consists of energy. The form of energy right now dominating your mind determines your current mood and outlook: high level frequencies generate joy, generosity, trust and optimism; low level frequencies generate anger, fear, frustration, apathy and boredom. Amazingly, through intentional visualization, meditation and practice you and I have the capacity to dismiss low frequency energy and to embrace high frequency energy. In a nutshell, this transformation is what we are promoting on this website as middle age renewal.

Many of you are acquainted with ‘The Secret’ also referred to as ‘The Law of Attraction’: routinely visualize positive thoughts and health, prosperity and great relationships will follow. Phyllis King points out that the Law of Attraction fails to work for everyone; your brain’s predominant energy frequency must be routinely high. This transformation happens naturally; positive attraction of a favorable outcome cannot be forced.

How can you and I import a high frequency energy of renewal? The simple answer: just like when we plug our lamp into an electrical outlet, we need to plug our brain into our ‘innate power source’, also referred to as our ‘abundant core.’ In turn, our abundant core needs to make connection with spiritual positive energy outside ourselves, which most of us call ‘God’ or ‘Universal Intelligence.’ This spiritual connection tunes us into the positive flow of the universe so that we begin pulling with not against life-giving forces.

The process sounds straightforward so at middle age, what so often holds us back? First, there’s that little voice inside (the monitor), likely implanted when we were small children, constantly reminding us of our limitations. (“You’re not smart enough!” “You don’t deserve to be rich!”) The only way to challenge that small internal voice is to acknowledge its presence, recognize that it is not helping and willfully challenging it by trying new things.

A second barrier to positive transformation is lack of a ‘true life purpose’ You and I are never going to complete a successful journey in life without first defining our intended destination. You first need to clarify then visualize in as much detail as possible where you want to end up. Finally you will need a road map and an internal tour guide to help ensure you enjoy the journey along the way.

To learn more, tune into the Feb 15, 2016 edition of my program ‘Middle Age Can Be Your Best Age’–here’s the link: “http://webtalkradio.net/internet-talk-radio/2016/02/15/middle-age-can-be-your-best-age-rx-for-midlife-blues-energy-of-abundance-and-healing-movements/.

What a great way to greet spring–invite positive energy into your life this spring and enjoy favorable outcomes the rest of your life!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Walk Off from Your War

As a midlife veteran of life’s challenges, failures and disappointments, are you ready to “walk off your war”? That’s what veterans of combat are urged to do following a strenuous battle. Most of us haven’t been in combat but by age 40, we’ve had our share of crises, worries, fears and trepidations. Unfortunately, some may be lingering in our lives today.

Wouldn’t it be great if you could get away completely on an extended trek–physically or maybe just mentally–to answer difficult questions like these:

* “What was I really placed on this planet to accomplish?”

* “How can I manage fear and step away from my comfort zone to test new horizons?”

* “Can I serve others while enjoying the rest of my time on Earth–regardless of what life throws at me?”

Perhaps in addition to these philosophical questions, you are faced with one or more immediate problems or challenge that you have no ready answer for.

Are you convinced if you could just get away for a bit from all the pressures of your job, family responsibilities, paying bills, traffic jams and the hassles of daily living you could solve your major problems and find answers to these deeper philosophical questions? Unfortunately, at middle age who has the time or resources to go on an extended journey of discovery? What if I told you it needn’t take that long: there is a brief method you can use every single day to resolve problems and find answers.

You protest, “That sounds great, but what path should I follow? Well here’s wonderful news: I interview a guest Anne Jolles on the August 31,2015 installment of my Internet radio program Middle Age Can Be Your Best Age who has discovered the answer. She assures us that “there is a trail you can walk anywhere, anytime, alone or with anyone. Walk it whenever a major problem or challenge arises. Anne has named her path the G.R.A.C.E Trail. She actually built a physical trail in Plymouth, MA but you can create your very own GRACE trail in a local park or in your back yard. If you’re not a walker, you can take a virtual journey on the GRACE trail in your mind.

To travel on the GRACE Trail, you ponder five questions at five stations along the way. Each letter in GRACE stands for one of the stations. To learn full details directly from Anne, you’ll need to tune into our program, but here are the five questions you ask and answer as you journey along the trail:

Station 1–Gratitude–what am I grateful for?

Station 2–Release–what problems or troubles can I put down for awhile?

Station 3–Acceptance–what do I need to accept as given in my life so that I can move on?

Station 4–Challenge–what is my challenge right at this very moment?

Station 5–Embrace–what can I embrace as possible?

Doesn’t it make sense to concentrate only on the present moment–the immediate challenge and possible outcomes you can control? Some of your long-term worries may go away on their own or perhaps you have no control over the outcome. As Jesus Christ tells us in Matthew 6:34, “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” And don’t forget to turn to God in prayer and to others for advice when faced with a challenge too big to handle alone!

Each week on my program, I interview one or more outstanding guests on the common challenges and opportunities of middle age. Past programs are archived so you can always go back to listen (or re-listen) at any time. Whenever you want to find us, simply Google “Middle Age Your Best Age”–our program link comes up right at the top of page one.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Here’s Why Middle Age Is So Great!

When coupled with gratitude, self-confidence and a fresh positive attitude, your 40′s, 50′s and 60′s can be your greatest interval of joy, personal fulfillment and contribution to others. Here’s why: you’re still young enough to remain vital, energetic and productive but most of your youthful challenges are behind–finding your mate, launching a career, starting your family, changing diapers, nurturing small children and struggling to pay the bills.

At midlife, most of you are established in your career, your kids either have left home or are almost grown and your finances are far more stable than they were in your 20′s and 30′s. Whether you own your own business, are still climbing the corporate ladder or have reached a plateau, I trust a lot of the career pressure is off. I’ll bet you no longer put in long hours, play office politics or kiss up to your boss. I’ll bet by now you’ve also learned that there is far more to success than a job title and a six figure income. I don’t need to tell you that life balance is an essential ingredient to joyful, stress-free middle age living.

In a nutshell, the secret to a long, rewarding and joy-filled second half is to combine a youthful zest for daily living, including the courage to try new things, with the mature composure of middle age. Once you regain routinely positive control of your emotions along with the confidence that you can challenge and overcome any adversity, you have absolutely no reason to fear the future. As an optimistic, self-confident woman or man pursuing a proactive agenda, there will be no place for lingering self-doubt, bitterness or recrimination.

You say your life today at middle at middle age is not what you’d like it to be? Whatever past or present circumstances, you can turn things around. To begin your transformation, start by making yourself four solemn promises:

1. “Beginning this very day, I no longer will dwell on perceived past mistakes.”

2. “From this moment on, I appoint myself CEO of me! I promise no scapegoats when things don’t go my way.”

3. “Moving forward, I will seek out and concentrate on positive aspects of current circumstances. Rather than worry, I next will use experience and inspiration to improve circumstances, both for myself and for others.”

4. “I hereby ban all worry and negative thinking for at least 60 minutes each day.”

Note: Start with 60 daily worry-free minutes and work up until you are worry-free 23 hours a day, reserving only one hour for worry.

As you cleanse your mind of lingering doubts and negative emotions you can fill the void with heartfelt positive images of the individual you intend to become. This person is not some total stranger–in fact, it is the self-assured, goal-oriented person you were created to be!

You may be older and wiser, but you still are “the man” or “the woman.” Nobody can prevent you from believing in yourself and in your future 100%. Right now is the appropriate moment to begin reconstruction of a positive mindset: that is you! Your face may have a few “character lines” and your pace may be a step slower but much like fine wine your heart, mind and soul have aged only for the better.

Pledge to practice purging your mind once and for all of any lingering bitterness, regret or self-imposed personal boundaries–that isn’t you! Over the days, weeks and months to come, with God’s help, you can and will dedicate the time and effort needed first to visualize then to become the positive, confident, goal-oriented person you were intended to be all along. This individual will be the new, improved version of you!

As sustained visualization and practice reawaken your mind and sprit, you will gain a gigantic advantage over the vast majority of your middle-aged contemporaries who remain mired down in negative thinking, slide through life without direction and cede personal destiny to the initiative of others. Once renewed, you will join a select vanguard of cutting-edge midlife winners fully capable of testing boundaries, enjoying each moment and discovering and promoting creative solutions. You will joyfully and fearlessly journey through life’s second half.

Want to learn more of the secrets to middle age renewal? Tune in to the April 20, 2015 edition of my weekly Internet radio program ‘Middle Age Can Be Your Best Age. You have lived long enough drifting through life. The renewal train has arrived at the station–why not get on board? Try midlife–you’ll love it!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Spring Is Here–Are You Ready to Bloom?

For those of us in the Northern Hemisphere, thank the Lord winter’s finally over. For millions in the Northeast and Midwest USA, winter this year was especially brutal. You folks in New England win the prize–it’s hard for me to even imagine snow drifts piled higher than cars.

Throughout The long nights and short days of January and February, many have battled the infamous quadruplets of winter: post-holiday let-down, bitter cold, hazardous ice and snow and cabin fever. In winter, it is all too easy to get mired down in negative thinking and non-beneficial habits and routines.

Spring is here. Are you ready to shake off the winter blues and wake up positive, warm-weather emotions? Are you ready to get out of the house, exercise outdoors, renew old acquaintances, make new friends and launch new projects? If not and you remain down in the dumps, you may want to ask yourself three questions:

1. “Were recent feelings of depression and isolation really about the weather or is there something else going on inside?”

2. “Now that spring has finally arrived, am I fully prepared to snap out of my funk and rediscover life’s purpose and joy?”

3. “Why can’t I feel positive, connected and purposeful all year long, regardless of season?”

Wouldn’t it be great to feel warm and energetic throughout spring, summer, fall, even next winter–without escaping to Florida or Hawaii? To launch your journey to a consistently positive outlook on life, engrave upon your consciousness the following ten prerequisites to change:

1. “I am not a failure as a human being or as a child of God. Present less-than-ideal circumstances in no way limit my potential.”

2. “Past failures and disappointments in no way reflect upon who I am today nor limit my potential for tomorrow.”

3. “The reason I am so dissatisfied with my life today is because I am at the bottom. The way forward is up. I refuse for one moment to agonize over past mistakes or to blame myself or anyone else for where I am today.”

4. “No matter how insurmountable today’s challenges appear, I will find a way out. At this point, I’m not worried about how. Once my emotions are set on ‘positive’, viable solutions will come to me.”

5. “God(the Supreme Being, Universal Consciousness) loves me and wants me to be joyful, purposeful, fulfilled and employed up to my full potential. With God on my side, I have no reason to fear the future.”

6. “No one else can hold me back unless I permit them to. From this day forward, I resolutely refuse to let another’s negative attitude, remarks or actions pull me down.”

7. “Tomorrow is a brand new day! By routinely planning for and visualizing successful outcomes, I will make each new day count.”

8. “As a renewed, positive individual, I will flow with, not against life’s current. I can’t always control circumstances, but at all times I can control how I react.”

9. “I hereby affirm myself as an attractive, highly talented human being fully capable of contributing value to others. Never again will I permit anyone to convince me I am in over my head or have nothing worthwhile to share.”

10. “From this day forward, I take full responsibility for my personal journey through life. I hereby appoint myself CEO of me. Of course I’ll make mistakes, but each mistake will serve as an invaluable learning experience.”

Have heard about the “Law of Attraction”? You may not believe it now, but once you internalize these ten positive resolutions and make them your own, your overriding emotions and actual life experience will improve dramatically. Like millions before, you will discover that a positive self-image, reinforced vividly and consistently, slowly but surely will become your reality. At middle age–or any age–you will begin to bloom this spring and the bloom will not fade as the weather turns cold again next winter.

Want more advice on blooming this spring? Tune in to the March 30, 2015 broadcast of my Internet radio program Middle Age Can Be Your Best Age. I interview Personal Transition Coach Skye McKenzie about her acclaimed book FORTY DAYS TO BREAKTHROUGH: How to Move from Simply Existing to Living a Life of Meaning and Purpose. You can dedicate the next forty days to renewing your life, can’t you?

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Congratulations On Not Winning the $564 Million Poweball Jackpot!

Three winners have been declared for the February 11, 2015 Powerball Lottery Jackpot. Congratulations it wasn’t you! I guarantee that you would not have gained lifetime satisfaction by instantly receiving millions with no effort on your part (other then standing in line to buy a lottery ticket.) The ancient maxim remains true today: A reward most treasured is one fully earned, not randomly granted, won or inherited.

What would you have done with all that money anyway? Winning the lottery can indeed be a godsend if you have in mind firm positive yet challenging lifetime goals and possess a genuine love and concern for others, a burning desire to leave a legacy and the willingness to continually grow, expand the mind and test the boundaries.  If this describes you, then mega lottery winnings can indeed help you along the road to true happiness. . In contrast, if your current outlook on life is negative, fearful,  self-centered, resentful, uninspired and without purpose, winning a ton of money is not likely to suddenly make you happy and content. We read every day about wealthy individuals addicted to drugs, arrested for harming others, even committing suicide.

When you think about it, the only true and lasting reward from winning life’s financial lottery is the freedom to choose. Presuming you and your loved ones remain healthy, financial independence grants you license for the rest of your life to pursue those primary daily activities which you cherish the most, wherever on earth and with whomever you choose. A key issue confronting every wealthy individual is how just well he or she chooses. I trust for you and me, showing off our wealth and drifting through life simply won’t cut it!

So you didn’t win Powerball? Here’s your solution: begin thinking and acting like a millionaire before you win a dime! No, I’m not suggesting you begin lavishly spending money you don’t have. What you can do is to start to continually visualize a lifetime free of financial concern.  Numerous studies have shown that you and I can fool our minds in a positive way. By continually envisioning yourself as financially independent with a favorable outlook on today and tomorrow, you will overcome fear of failure and will begin taking steps to make your dreams a reality.

We’ve all heard of positive, successful people who started with little or nothing, earned a fortune already and keep expanding their wealth. We’re also observed news  of heirs, lottery winners, athletes and entertainers with sudden windfalls who get into trouble, fall into depression or squander fortunes because they lack vision of a brighter future or it’s all about them.

Let’s get you started moving towards the life of your dreams–both for you and for those you love. First, visualize the life you most cherish, on your own terms, and those family members, closest friends and loved ones you’d like to bring along.  Next turn to God (Universal Consciousness) and ask for help in making your dreams come true. Right now, before returning to your normal routine, and each day hereafter, take a few moments out to ingrain in your subconscious mind two guiding principles:

  1. Yes I did win life’s lottery–emotionally.  I’m wonderfully made and fully capable.  I hereby take 100% responsibility for my future and appoint myself CEO of me. I have absolutely no doubt that over the coming weeks, months and years, I will find ways to accomplish every single lifetime objective truly important to me.
  2. I will take action making tough choices and any required financial sacrifices up front. These choices will ‘purchase’ for me a lifetime of financial security   

Once a positive vision is firmly entrenched in your subconscious mind, you will begin thinking and behaving like the successful, self-assured person you were created to be. You will be fully prepared to take charge and challenge the future, ready to venture outside your comfort zone to create your own identity and destiny. In hindsight, you will pat yourself on the back for not winning Powerball as you start building genuine wealth the right way, one block at a time. Guess what: you’ll enjoy your journey to wealth as much as the prize.

Want some more ideas on taking charge and challenging the future? Tune in to the Monday March 2, 2015 installment of my weekly Internet radio program ‘Middle Age Can Be Your Best Age’.  An inspiring guest and I will talk about kick starting your life this spring without landing on your behind.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

You’re Now Middle Age–Here Are Some Benefits

As we begin a new year, pause for a few moments to take your emotional temperature. Now that you are firmly entrenched in middle age–over 40, 50, perhaps even 60–do you still celebrate being alive and look forward to a joyful and purposeful second half? I trust you don’t consider yourself trapped in a dull, mind-numbing daily routine. Are idealism, romance and a sense of adventure gone from your life, replaced by a never-ending struggle simply to maintain the status quo? Worst of all, do you worry continually about growing old, anticipating a steady decline physically and mentally, ending life as a whisper in the “Care Center” of your local retirement home?

Negative emotions like those described above are symptomatic of an all-too-common midlife malaise: the curse of lost dreams and diminished expectations! At some point beyond 40, so many of us become haunted by the realization that we are not as young, athletic and physically attractive as we once were, that children who once were the center of our universe are growing up and beginning to tune us out and that our most recent job promotion likely will be our last. Perhaps for the first time, you now acknowledge that those lofty career and lifestyle goals that once seemed so attainable today appear out of reach.

When you’re in a better mood, I trust you reflect upon the many blessings of middle age.  Your children are, or soon will be, fully grown and off on their own. Perhaps for the first time in years, you and your spouse or life partner have ample time to spend quality time both alone and together, to broaden personal horizons and to share life-enriching adventures just for two.

Grandchildren have or soon will add a wonderful new dimension. Cable or direct TV, mobile communication devices, the Internet and Social Media bring undreamed of culture, education, self-expression and entertainment right into your home. As empty nesters, you two may be alone in your residence but you can communicate in a heartbeat with offspring, relatives, friends and loved ones all arround the world.

Thanks to years of diligent savings and investment, I trust you have attained financial security you only dreamed of in your twenties and thirties. Your personal resume has been building over the past 20 to 30 years. As a mature adult, you have experienced both the bitter and the sweet and you know how to distinguish true gold from glitter. You routinely avoid the foolish mistakes you might have made 25 years ago. In fact, never before have you been better equipped to take control, set priorities and to joyfully accomplish those essential lifelong goals that really matter to you.

When you think about it, most of your life up to now has been directed by someone else or by circumstances. As a child, your next steps were determined by parents and teachers. In your teen years, social contemporaries and teen influencers had a say. In college, it was professors and fraternity/sorority brothers/sisters; in the military your commanding officer or Sargent and early on in your career, the boss and your employer. After you were married, circumstances–child-bearing, caring for and nurturing infants, toddlers and small children–pretty much determined how you and your spouse spent your time.

Now that you are in middle age, it’s time to take over personal control of life’s next stages. You may still have a boss to report to, but you no longer need to play office politics and you can take far more initiative in prioritizing and defining your workday. Middle age is an ideal point to redefine yourself as an individual–your worth is defined by far more than your position at work. Is your life balanced? What career track do you want to be on? A fresh, positive attitude and the commitment to take primary control of personal destiny can make your 40′s, 50′s and 60′s a period of maximum joy, fulfillment and service to others.

The secret to a joyful, productive and rewarding second half is to recapture a youthful zest for living blended in with the mature judgment of middle age–a winning combination! Once you regain firm control over your emotions and set the gage on ‘positive’, there is absolutely no reason to fear the future. Prepare financially now, then relax, take a deep breath and enjoy the journey. As a positive, self-confident individual pursuing a proactive agenda, you will have no room for lingering bitterness, self-doubt or recrimination.

Here’s a question for you: “Will you take full responsibility for your destiny moving forward?”   If your answer is “yes”, please sit back and make yourself three solemn pledges:

  1. “Starting right now, I no longer will dwell upon past mistakes and seek to blame myself, circumstances or anyone else on where I am today.”
  2. “As of this moment, I hereby appoint myself as CEO of me.”
  3. “I solemnly pledge that I will search diligently for new ways to make all my tomorrows positive, focused and productive. Change is not my enemy, I hereby embrace it as my best friend!”

As soon as you clear your mind of regret and stop blaming self and others for things that are “wrong” with your life today, you can fill the void with positive heartfelt images of the renewed  creative, forward thinking individual you intend to become.  This person is not a total stranger–it is the new, improved you. You are now fully capable of combining the idealism of youth with an irreplaceable wealth of hard-earned knowledge and experience–so who’s to stop you now?

No one can prevent you from believing in yourself 100%. Ladies and gentlemen, wake up! Right now at the beginning of a new calendar year is a great point in time to begin reconstruction of the positive, goal-oriented person you were created to be! Once renewed in mind and spirit, you will join a select vanguard of cutting-edge, midlife winners fully capable of testing boundaries, analyzing problems, promoting creative solutions and enjoying every moment of being alive.

Want to learn more about the art of midlife renewal in the new year? Tune in to the December 29 and January 5 installments of my acclaimed Internet radio program ‘Middle Age Can Be Your Best Age!’ You can find our program link on Google at the top of page 1.

 

 

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

De-Stess the Holidays Before They Arrive

Thanksgiving is upon us and Christmas, Hanukkah & New Year’s will be here before we know it. For all too many, this will be not the “season of joy” but rather “the season of stress.” At middle age, you’ve been down Santa Claus lane a few times before. Ask yourself this question: “Do I look forward to the holidays this year with joyful expectation or am I dreading all the things I need to accomplish just to get ready?”

Do any of these sound familiar?

  • You’re scrambling around to clear the clutter and get your house all clean and spiffy before Thanksgiving dinner or Christmas overnight guests arrive.
  • You’re charging down supermarket aisles, rushing around the mall to find Christmas gifts, then waiting in long check-out lines. (‘Why was I crazy enough to Christmas shop on Black Friday again this year?”)
  • You will spend all Thanksgiving and Christmas mornings cooking the holiday meal for a large group of relatives, then after dinner you get to wash the dishes all by yourself.
  • You are hanging outdoor Christmas lights haphazardly on a bitter-cold late November day, trying like crazy not to fall off the ladder.
  • At the last minute, you’re frantically mailing cards and gifts to everyone on your list, making certain that no one is left out.
  • You’re rushing to catch a flight or gassing up the old SUV, then struggling through airport security or creeping down a clogged highway made worse by the 6-10″ snowfall from the night before.
  • You’re dreading how you’ll respond at Thanksgiving dinner when your mother-in-law or Uncle Fred, as they always do, says something mean that gets your goat.

Not one of these expectations sounds very appealing does it? I know this sounds crazy, but each year when Christmas finally arrives I find myself exhausted, bored, almost let-down because I have nothing else to rush around to accomplish. My wife Gloria and I generally spend the week between Christmas & New Year’s mostly de-compressing from pre-holiday stress, generally too worn down to enjoy our company. CRAZY, isn’t it?

What if this year the holidays could be less about stress and more about celebration? Here’s an even better idea: Let’s make this year’s holiday season a positive dress rehearsal for stress-free living throughout the coming year!  Everyone has his or her own formulas to remain calm under pressure but here are my “10 Commandments” for the holidays:

  1. Plan out your pre-holiday and holiday routine well before the actual day arrives. Set goals not just for yourself (and not simply to ‘survive’) but for every guest and family member. What positive experience will each one to take away from your time together?
  2. In what ways do you love, respect and admire each person you will have contact with over the holidays? In what ways can you demonstrate love, concern and affection?
  3. List the good points of everyone who will visit and how you might ‘make their day.’
  4. Make peace with yourself. Love yourself so much that that love and compassion will overflow to others. This may sound selfish, but it follows Christ’s command, “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
  5. Refuse to feel and act like you’re under another’s microscope. You’re not perfect and neither is he or she! Brush off criticism lightly and without malice, then move on.
  6. Never set holiday expectations too high. Simply because Thanksgiving, Christmas & New Year’s are designated as holidays doesn’t mean they always will be the greatest day of the year. Each holiday, sit back, relax and enjoy a quiet yet fun time with close friends and family, Who knows, February 20 and May 12 might turn out to be your best days of nest year!
  7. When pre-holiday crowds get to you, find a quite corner and take deep breaths. Shopping and travel are not life or death experiences after all. If you miss out on that gift or miss your airport connection, it won’t really make a lick of difference to your long-term health and wellbeing?
  8. To make this holiday season truly special, give some time and money to those less fortunate. Volunteering could turn out to be your highlight of the season.
  9. Ladies–don’t hesitate to ask others for help preparing holiday meals or cleaning up after. Genuinely caring friends & loved ones will willingly pitch in and likely will benefit as much as you.
  10. If at all possible, find a way to include children in your holiday. Thanksgiving and Christmas simply aren’t the same without the expectation, joy and enthusiasm of young minds, bodies and spirits!

Let me throw in three bonus suggestions:

  • For every planned activity, always have a backup plan in mind. If the mall is too crowded on Saturday, address Christmas cards and return to shop after work next Tuesday.
  • Shop or travel with someone relaxed whom you love or admire. When things get too hectic and lines get too long, smile, chat and enjoy each other’s company.
  • Plan as many as possible fun activities that don’t involve food. You don’t want to fight the battle of the bulge throughout the early part of next year. (P.S: if you attend a holiday movie, no buttered popcorn!)

One other suggestion: if you’re a person of faith, try not to forget the reason for the season. (Hint: Christmas time is not just about the jolly little fat man in the pretty red suit.)

In conclusion, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah and New Year’s are meant to be joyful times, peaceful, warm and loving. It makes absolutely no sense to wear down or stress yourself out preparing for them! Therefore, I strongly urge you to plan in advance then take it easy and have a jolly good time. Let’s make this a year when on January 2 you don’t sigh in relief, glad that the holidays are finally over until next November!

Care to learn more about de-stressing the holidays? Tune in to the Monday November 24 edition of my weekly Internet radio show ‘Middle Age Can Be Your Best Age.’ Our expert guest Dr. Elaine Ferguson, M.D., author of the acclaimed book SUPERHEALING, will present some powerful keys to remaining cool, calm, collected–and joyful–before, during and after the holidays this year. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know it’s not fair, but you ladies tend to bear more than your share of the holiday preparation

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment