The Good Life After 40–Mastering Mid-Life Transitions

Posted on May 11, 2012 by admin

As we grow older and pass from youth into the dreaded “middle age”, a most difficult challenge is to accept and master inevitable changes which occur in life’s second half. Once we reach 40, then 50, most of us begin to view the world from an entirely different perspective.

Do you intend to accept yourself  unconditionally and thrive in your middle years? Would you rather expend energy mourning the passing of youth, routinely fearing tomorrow and dreading old age? I thought not!

Over the next several blogs, we will offer brief suggestions for mastering common midlife transitions. Here are the first two:

Career Plateau. Let’s assume you recently learned, formally or or via the grapevine, that   no further promotions will come your way. You relish your present career and really don’t want to start over somewhere else. You’d like to tell your boss where to go but you can’t afford to quit right now and you aren’t yet eligible for a decent retirement.

You have always dreamed of climbing to the very top; how do you accept the sobering prospect of five, ten or fifteen more years in a dead-end job? Here are a few suggestions:

  • Volunteer for enriching professional association, church related or community service assignments. While you continue to give your employer a full day’s work for a full day’s pay, why not re-channel your energy and enthusiasm elsewhere?
  •  Contribute as a team player. The pressure for advancement is off so you no longer need to play office politics. Bury your resentment, ignore the B/S and challenge each workday with purpose.
  • Take the initiative to enhance your present position. Propose additional responsibilities where you are comfortable and where you can expect to excel.
  • Remain flexible, routinely open to change and ready to accept new challenges. In this era of perpetual motion, who knows what future opportunities might surface?
  • Dedicate evenings and weekends to defining, visualizing and planning out life’s next stage. You just might discover a pathway to early retirement or a new, more rewarding career or employer.
  • Devote time and energy to encouraging and promoting career and well-being of spouse and offspring. Share in the joy and satisfaction of their success.

Retirement. If not now, in a few years all of us will face retirement from our primary vocation, perhaps the most critical challenge. How can we move gracefully, without regret, from “middle age” to “maturity” or “senior citizen” status? Studies demonstrate that many retirees quickly become bored, frustrated and bitter because they have failed to plan adequately for life’s next phase. Don’t let this happen to you!

So long as both you and your spouse (if you have one) remain healthy, active, involved and young at heart, retirement may prove to be the most rewarding interval of your entire adult lives. You have earned a permanent respite from the mundane, often stressful, challenges of raising a family and earning a living, including that awful daily commute to and from the plant or office. Here are a few common-sense ingredients which can contribute to a long, purposeful and joyful retirement:

  • Upon retirement, promise yourself that you will continue to think and behave like a person who genuinely cares and can make a positive difference. Every morning, pledge yourself to perform at least one act of kindness or undertake at least one project which will lighten the load for another. 
  • At long last, you will have the opportunity to dedicate time and energy to hobbies and avocations you have always admired. So precisely what would you would you most like to do to have fun with the rest of your life?
  • In retirement, volunteer only for activities which you cherish and where you can excel. If you love to get out, drive around town and meet people, volunteer for “Meals on Wheels.” If you enjoy building, volunteer for “Habitat for Humanity.” If you hate to cook, don’t volunteer for church suppers.
  • Remain in contact with young adults and young children–they’ll keep you inspired. If you don’t have grand kids, you might teach Sunday School or coach Little League. If you do have grand kids, spend ample time with and around them and watch them grow, so long as you don’t become bogged down as “full-time baby sitter.”

I will address additional midlife transition challenges in my next blog. To obtain additional guidance right now, go to our website www.Middleagerenewal.com and request our free Middle Age Renewal Training Mini Course. Also, preview my comprehensive self-help guidebook to midlife renewal: A Mid-Life Challenge WAKE UP! 

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | 48 Comments

To Make Your Business Thrive, Reenergize Your Bee Hive

Posted on May 4, 2012 by admin

Want to inspire your employees to a higher level of performance? It may be time to apply a generous dose of employee empowerment, best described as “in command but out of control.”

Be it large or small, picture your enterprise as a bee hive and yourself as the “queen bee.” (Gentlemen, please don’t be offended; like it or not, in bee hives women rule.) You have neither the time nor the inclination to direct the daily activity of every worker bee but you must ensure that your hive survives and prospers. To establish and sustain a positively humming “out of control” hive, you need to actively consider the following:

1. Keep everyone informed. Today’s technology permits us to spread real-time performance data and competitive intelligence far and wide. Routinely inform participants at all levels how well their department, the enterprise as a whole and your competitors are performing. You gain little but lose a lot by withholding vital facts and figures.

2. Establish and enforce a strict uniform code of business conduct. There can be no slack or misunderstanding of enterprise-wide ethical standards.

3. If possible, grant every employee a unique personal franchise. (This may be difficult in a unionized environment.) For certain employees, the franchise will be very limited, for others extremely broad. Each contributor must continually validate his or her franchise and should be challenged to expand it by demonstrating initiative and favorable performance, both as an individual and as a member of your team.

4. Seek consensus in advance for ambitious yet realistic personal and collective goals. Truly effective goal-setting goes far beyond the traditional budgeting and annual performance review ritual. Your loftier objective is to inspire individual employee commitments along with personalized work plans which combine to support lofty consensus enterprise-wide objectives.

5. Encourage leaders at every organization level to divorce themselves from hands-on, day-to-day micro-management. A worthy goal is to redefine the ideal leadership model from “boss” to “coach.” A coach sets direction, establishes priorities, motivates team members and monitors results. “Coaches” most honored are those who develop their “players” along with meeting or exceeding department or profit center objectives.

6. Routinely monitor results and provide timely and consistent feedback. Shift direction as necessary. Senior leaders may relinguish hands-on control but they remain responsible for the bottom line. The best of leaders effectively delegate initiative but routinely inspire excellence and dispense healthy doses of constructive criticism, never simply to “assign blame” but always to motivate improved performance in the future.

7. Base bonus rewards, profit sharing and promotions upon measurable individual and collecctive accomplishments. In your enterprise, “favoritism” should be viewed as a dirty word.  Performance rewards should generous and widespread when your business prospers but never handed out indiscriminately to under-performing participants.

Want to learn more about recharging your business and motivating seasoned employees mid-stream? Visit our website www.middleagerenewal.com. While there, preview the latest book by MART founder and CEO Roy Richards

 

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

OMG!–Junior Just Asked to Move Back Home–Along With Wife and Kids

Posted on April 27, 2012 by admin

Hey Baby Boomers, how would you react if your adult son or daughter called today and asked to move back home, perhaps bringing along spouse and one or more grandchildren? In today’s struggling economy, more and more adults in their twenties and thirties are doing precisely that, seeking refuge until they can find a decent job or bounce back from foreclosure on their under-water mortgage.

Let’s asssume tou are well into your forties, fifties or sixties. Your youngest child moved out of the house several years ago. Assuming you’re still together, both you and your spouse embrace an active “empty nest” life style and you’re loving it! What do you do now? You don’t live in a mansion. Of course you love your son or daughter and grandchildren and wouldn’t dream of leaving them out in the cold! Can you take them in and still maintain  your sanity, much less your quality of life?   Here are a few suggestions:

1. Set aside your very own private living space and, if possible, set aside private space for returning offspring and family. Ideally, you’ll have enough room in both private areas for a bathroom, TV, desk or work table and a computer.  Even if small, seek agreement that private spaces are to be sacrosanct; you will not enter their space without permission and they will not enter yours. I trust you can share  common areas–living room, dining room, kitchen and family room–in a spirit of harmony and cooperation. If you have limited bathrooms and showers, perhaps you can work out a daily routine for sharing.

2. Make it abudantly clear to returning son or daughter that your offer of accomodations is not 100% free. If they can afford to, adult offspring should pay modest rent or, at the very least, reimburse you for the extra cost of food. Returning offspring also need to commit to help out with cooking, housekeeping, laundry, yardwork and  errands. If they simply don’t have the cash, let adult offspring earn their room and board by performing projects around the house.

3. Nurturing and disciplining of small children–your grandchildren– remains the primary task of your offspring as parents, not yours as grandparents. At times, you may be more than willing and eager to help but childcare should never become primarily your responsibility.

4. At all times keep in mind that your prodigal son or daughter is no longer a teenager, so don’t relate to him or her as such. So long as they perform no illegal acts in your home, it’s none of your business where they go or who they hang out with at 3 AM.

5. If your returning son or daughter brings along small children, be certain to emphasize that you and your spouse are not built-in baby sitters! It’s OK (and probably fun) to volunteer to watch the kids one or two nights a week but the rest of the week is yours to come and go as you please.

6. If son or daughter (or his or her spouse) is seeking work, offer encouragement, occasional advice and introductions if you have them but don’t nag, pry into prospects or imply that the job search is taking far too long. It’s tough out there! 

7. Don’t spoil the grandchildren. Above all, respect the wishes of a son-in-law or daughter-in-law when he or she says “no!” Except in instances of immediate danger, it is always best to defer to a parent when a small child misbehaves.

Most adults returning to childhood homes do so as a last resort and may be ashamed to ask. Don’t make them feel worse by demonstrating resentment or hard feelings. It is perfectly fair and sensible to iron out groundrules, mutual responsibilities and conditions well before the moving truck arrives. In fact, this is the only sensible formula to ensure a pleasant stay for all.

If done right, living together with two, three, even four generations can be both joyful and invigorating. After all, that’s the way it always was done in generations past! If mutual respect, accomodation and sharing prevail, you will get to know your adult offspring all over again and will assist them in moving forward to a brighter tomorrow. Wouldn’t you be inspired to observe grandchildren every day as they grow up, explore the world around them and change a little each day? Looking back a few years from now, I’ll bet you won’t want to exchange your extended family live-in experience for any other in the world!    

To learn more about the many challenges and benefits of middle age, please visit our website: www.middleagerenewal.com.

While there, preview my acclaimed book, A Mid-Life Challenge WAKE UP!  In the book, I demonstrate how to wake up to the joys and contentment of a renewed life after age 40.

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

A First Small Step to Midlife Renewal–Make Someone Else Feel Special

Posted on April 20, 2012 by admin

Do you wake up most mornings wishing you could stay in bed? Do you concentrate mostly on bad things that could happen to you within the next 24 hours? Wouldn’t it be great if you could shift your predominant outlook on life from ngative to positive, ready to challenge each new day as a win/win proposition?

At middle age, all too many of us appear stuck on neutral, going nowhere in particular, complaining over every little thing and wondering what became of our dreams from just a few years back. If this describes you, I’ve got a small suggestion. It may sound trivial but it’s easy to try and it just might positively change your entire outlook on life. As a painless experiment, treat the next person you meet–friend, neighbor, casual acquaintance or stranger–as someone you care about, someone who matters!

I am not suggesting (especially the person you encounter is an attractive member of the opposite sex) that you fake it with that old pickup line, “Don’t I know you from somewhere?” Instead, simply smile and offer a casual but friendly remark that acknowledges the other person as a valued fellow member of the human race worthy of your kind attention and respect.

A few months ago, I was jogging down a side street a few blocks from home. A middle-aged gentleman pulled over, got out of his car and walked over to retrieve mail from his curbside mailbox. To my surprise, rather than ignoring me, the man went out of his way to be nice. He asked me how I was doing, told me I was looking good and apologized for making me jog a few strides out of my way around his car.

I greeted the man warmly in return and continued my run. As I jogged on, I tried to recall where I had met the gentleman and how we had become friends. Only later did I recognize that we had never met; this caring individual simply had gone out of his way to show me consideration.

No, being nice to the next person you meet won’t instantly solve every midlife problem, disappointment and frustration. It can make you feel better! I speak from personal experience: for years, wrapped up in personal thoughts and lacking confidence around others, I would look down or away when someone else approached. I probably wouldn’t say “hello” unless the other person spoke first. A few years ago, I launched a conscious effort to change my approach. For example, the other day I complemented a woman on the two beautiful dogs she was walking. I joked with a jogger climbing a steep hill, pointing down the hill and commenting, “It’s easier the other way!” The jogger smile back and said something pleasant in return.

Warm, friendly interactions with those around us is highly contageous. It makes us feel a whole lot better and transfers our positive energy to others–a true win/win interaction.  Believe it or not, over time we also build self-confidence and favorable expectations for the future. If we can wrest a positive reaction out of the old grouch down the street, think of the confidence we will build for future interactions that truly matter: that next big business deal, at home with those we love or socially when we have the chance to speak with a community leader or a local celebrity we have always wanted to meet.

In my recent book, A Mid-Life Challenge WAKE UP!, I offer comprehensive guidelines and a a whole lot of additional suggestions on how to enhance career, relationships and community service in those middle years. As a free gift, I also offer our Middle Age Renewal Training Mini Course. To request yours today with no obligation go to:  www.middleagerenewal.com. 

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | 6 Comments

If You’re Down in the Dumps at Middle Age–What’s Your Excuse for Not Changing?

Posted on April 14, 2012 by admin

If you woke up this morning, similar to most mornings, dreading the day ahead, what’s the reason? Do you hate your job or the long daily commute to a stressful workplace? Is your marriage on the rocks? Are your teenagers driving you nuts? Are you out of work with no job prospects in sight? At this point in your life and career, are you far short of where you intended to be?

If life today is boring you to tears or stressing you out, what’s to prevent you from seeking a brighter tomorrow? Here are nine common excuses for accepting the status quo, none of which makes any sense:

Excuse #1–”My life is too hectic right now!” Pray tell, what is more important than changing your emotional outlook from gray to blue? You deserve to enjoy the rest of your life. Commit to setting aside blocks of time each day for personal introspection and visualization of a favorable outcome. Be certain to inform spouse, family and significant others that you plan to reexamine your life and set positive goals which will include them. Ask for help and understanding. Better yet, ask them to join you in midlife renewal.

Excuse #2–”I don’t have the money.” Contrary to popular misconception, you don’t have to become instantly rich to radically improve quality of life and personal emotions. You may not even need to change jobs nor abandon present relationships. In fact, you may discover joy and contentment right where you are. As a first step, remind yourself that your goal is not simply a lot more money but the freedom to choose a purposeful, well-rounded lifestyle which will benefit both you and others.

Excuse #3–”My life will change someday when….” Here are some examples: “When my kids graduate from college.” “When my awful boss is fired or retires.” “After my next promotion.” “When the economy improves.” “After this fall’s election.” ”When” may be the most counter-productive of all the procrastination excuses. For far too many, the “when” never arrives or if it does, it more than likely is replaced by another “when.” In the end, all the ”whens” turn into the regrettable “it could have been.”

Excuse #4–”Everyone around me is negative, so what good would renewal do me?” “My boss, spouse, children, close friends and neighbors are always complaining; how in the world can I remain positive around them?” Sorry, but negative commentary and behavior of others is not a valid excuse. The choice is yours–no one else in the world can force you to remain unhappy. Furthermore, it takes two to tango. Over time, others will grow weary of their negative behavior if you routinely fail to respond in kind. Frequent smiles, laughter, sincere attention to others and favorable comments on possibilities are highly contageous!

Excuse #5–”God will make things better for me if it’s God’s will.” If you are religious, I encourage you to pray for guidance but please don’t sit back and wait for God to do all the work. Circumstances are not likely to improve dramatically without your active involvement. For most, God helps inspire a positive mental attitude and often points out the pathway to a better tomorrow. It then will be up to you to initiate action to make your dreams come true. 

 Excuse #6–”If only!” Like me, I’ll bet you’ve heard them all: “If only I’d finished my education.” “If only I were younger and better looking.” “If only I’d become a lawyer instead of a financial analyst.” “If only my job wasn’t so demanding.” Pure and simply, the “if only” excuse is a rationalization for doing nothing. Does it really make sense to blame past decisions, fate or someone else for where you are today? It is you and you alone who is suffering and needs to initiate change.

Excuse #7–”I’m just a little person so what can I do?” In God’s eyes, we are all equal. You are not insignificant to those in your corner of the world. If world and national events are getting you down, turn off the TV news! To make a positive contribution to others, you first must believe in yourself. Once you do, you can be a “big person” to your spouse and family by granting them your undivided attention, routinely treating them with unconditional love and concern. You can be a “big person” at work and in your community by treating every personal interaction as a win/win situation.

Excuse #8–”The world is too scary right now!” As aftermath of our most severe recession since World War II, millions remain unenemployed or suffer from mortgages larger than the current market value of their homes. Don’t forget our $1.2 million plus annual budget deficit and the ever-present threat of terrorism. In fact, today’s frieghtening external environment is all the more reason to take control of your very own personal emotions. Bad things do happen to good people, but those with a strong internal compass always tend to come out better in the end.  Once you set targets and transform dominant emotions from negative to positive, you will become increasingly capable of challenging an uncertain future.

Excuse #9–”It hurts too much.” Perhaps you suffer from a recent traumatic event–death of a loved one, breakup of your marriage, loss of a cherished position. It may be hard to get out of bed each morning, much less strive for to a happier tomorrow. May I offer the gentle suggestion that you begin to shift in focus from grief to a consciously designed positive game plan for the future? As soon as possible, take those first small steps to a happier life. In hindsight, the recovery phase of any life-altering traumatic event may prove an ideal point in time to launch positive midlife renewal.

So what’s your excuse for not seeking a brighter tomorrow? Once you decide to move forward, we can help. At MART, our sole purpose is to expand the growing congregation of joyfully fulfilled midlife winners! To obtain by return email your FREE copy of our “Middle Age Renewal Training Mini Course“ simply visit our website:   www.middleagerenewal.com 

 While there, you can preview my book, A Mid-Life Challenge WAKE UP! which is all about discovering a purposeful and joy-filled second half of life.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | 22 Comments

In Your Twenties You Had So Much Potential–What Happened?

Posted on April 9, 2012 by admin

You had so much potential back when you were in your twenties. Back then, you had absolutely no doubt that you were going a long way and others thought so too.

Now that you’re in your forties (or fifties), perhaps less than fully stisfied with career, relationship or lifestyle choices, what happened to all that potential? My answer to you is “NOTHING!” You still have the same sharp instincts, capacity for purposeful thinking and innate talents you had back then, sometimes burried under layers of self-doubt and diminished expectations. Isn’t it high time to start removing negative barriers to a routinely positive, self-confident attitude and favorable expectations for the future?

Imagine how wonderful it would be if you could cleanse your mind and soul of negative thoughts and emotions and visualize yourself as the purposeful, vibrant and joyful man or woman you were created to be. Christians recently celebrated Easter Sunday, the season of divine resurection and new beginnings. Isn’t this the perfect time to resurect positive emotions in our middle age lives? A renewed “you” would not be a total stranger. In fact, you would possess all of the innate talents and capabilities you had in your twenties refined by the irreplaceable practical knowledge and experience gained through twenty or more years of unique, active adult living.

Restoration of a  “take control” attitude and favorable expectations is possible at any age! I speak from personal experience. In the year 2000 I awakened after thirty years of sleepwalking through career and relationships and have cherished every day since. Unlike me, you needn’t wait thirty years to start anew. Pledge this very moment to launch the process of purging your consciousness of lingering frustrations, bitterness and regret. Forget all those past “woulda’s” and “shoulda’s”–present and future are all that counts!

Over the upcoming days, weeks and months dedicate the time needed to contemplate then visualize the joyful, goal-oriented person you were meant to be all along. Positive, self-confident women and men in their forties, fifties and sixties refuse absolutely to let the passing of youth get them down. In fact, the world around us once again is beginning to fully recognize and cherish the value of age and experience. Mike Wallace who passed away this past weekend remained an active and valued correspondent on “60 Minutes” into his late eighties.  Can anyone doubt that you and I still have a lot to offer in our forties, fifties and sixties?

Come join in our growing congregation of midlife winners! If you seek to recapture positive expectations, a sense of purpose and a spirit of adventure for life’s second half, we can help! Simply go to our new, improved website: www.middleagerenewal.com  and obtain COMPLETELY FREE our “Middle Age Renewal Training Mini Course.”  Test yourself using our free “Happiness Gage” worksheet designed to help determine whether you would benefit from life renewal after 40. While at our site, please review my new book, A Mid-Life Challenge WAKE UP! which guides readers through a comprehensive journey, including 18 self-help exercises, to middle age renewal.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 24 Comments

Are You Mournful Over Your Loss of $640 Million? Get Over It!

Posted on March 30, 2012 by admin

Let me help prepare you in advance just in case you don’t win tonight’s (6/30/12) $640 million MegaMillions Lottery jackpot. In fact it’s best that neither one of us won all that money. Here’s why:

1. A reward most cherished is one fully earned, not one simply granted, won or inherited. (Note: I’m talking about human rewards, not God’s grant of  salvation.)

2. If you’re like me, when you look back, your fondest recollections are of anticipating, planning and striving for a worthy objective, not the ultimate prize.

3. Life without one or more clearly defined goals, a positive plan of action and inspiration for accomplishment is really no life at all.

Ask yourself who has won a greater psychic reward: a person who just won or inherited $640 million or a person who 20 years ago founded a business, built it up from scratch and recently sold it for $640 million? Which individual do you think has greater self-confidence going forward? Which one would you expect more likely to remain active in service to others? Which would you prefer as a teammate, venture partner, confidant or close friend?

Time and again over the years lottery jackpot winners have proven unprepared emotionally for a big prize. More than a few have ended up in a worse situation than when they started. Aren’t you relieved that you aren’t the one who has to decide how to spend and invest all that money!

Here’s an idea to help you get past the reality that someone else won the jackpot. Right this moment, stop whatever you’re doing, tune out your stress and contemplate four worthy  guiding life principles:

  1. Yes I did win the Lottery—emotionally. Starting today, I am taking control of my future and hereby appoint myself CEO of me. I have absolutely no doubt that over time I will accomplish every major life goal genuinely important to me. A positive attitude and favorable expectations are far more valuable to me than any amount of money.
  2. What would I have done with all that money anyway? I seek a life filled with positive challenges and generous willing contributions of time, talent and energy to others; I don’t intend to spend the rest of my life on a golf course.
  3. My spouse and I will anticipate financial requirements for the life we desire then will develop and implement a realistic game plan to accomplish those objectives. It is possible to have fun while earning a living and contributing value to others!
  4.  As required, I will make difficult financial and emotional sacrifices up front so that I then can pursue my dreams with the positive engergy and emotions of a lottery winner.

Next to good health and loving relationships, I suggest you concentrate on two additional targets: 

  • A life in financial balance. Over time, anticipated sources of income must meet or exceed the desired sum of expenditures and savings, including funds set aside for unanticipated emergencies.
  • Enjoyment of all aspects of daily living, including “work”. Those truly blessed have a good time and expand personal horizons every day while earning a living.

When all is said and done, there is only one treasure in life genuinely worth possessing: the simple joy of awakening each moring with positive anticipation for the day ahead. Guess what: you don’t have to first win the lottery to be joyful and fulfilled. For additional ideas on how to recapture a joyful, purpose-driven life at mid-stream, please visit our website:  

                                                   www.middleagerenewal.com

 

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | 52 Comments

Avoid Midlife Crisis–Act Like a Child!

Posted on March 23, 2012 by admin

Are you less than fully satisfied with your daily life, relationships or career at middle age? Do you suffer from the all-too-common pain of midlife crisis? You know you want more out of life after 40 but you don’t know how to get there. Never fear, to jump start your life in a positive direction you simply need to act like a child!

As a small child, you believed beyond a doubt that imagination works. Most of us imagined growing up to be a cowboy, a sports star, an astronaut, an action hero, a rock singer or a figure skating champion. Through play acting, we lifted our spirits to a new, higher dimension and experienced a world of fun in the process. When we were ten years old, nobody had yet informed us that we simply were not good enough. Our young minds remained free of nagging doubts implanted by those who remind us of our limitations.

To escape from your middle-age rut, I ask you recapture one small miracle of childhood: the capacity to imagine, believe in possibilities and to act out your dreams. I do not suggest that you daydream the hours away, ignore reality and idly sit back to wait for a magical life transformation from above.   In contrast, I simply recommend that you begin to visualize how wonderful your life will be as a joyfully transformed, purpose-driven woman or man. You can train yourself to imagine a positive result before the final results are in.

You need not wait until you change jobs, establish or abandon a relationship, or adopt a totally different lifestyle to begin looking, thinking and behaving like a winner. You certainly don’t need to wait for someone else’s assurance that you have changed.  The only affirmation needed will come from within. To speed your emotional transition from negative to positive, begin to visualize every day, in high definition and living color, a precise image of the person you seek to become. Next, at every opportunity consciously act out the part.

Don’t fret if at present you lack a  solid life-transforming game plan. Nothing can prevent you from beginning this very day to imagine a favorable ultimate outcome. So you want to retire in fifteen years with a $3 million net worth? The absence of an immediate wealth-producing game plan in no way should discourage from drawing vivid mind pictures of your joyful, spirited and purposal life as a wealthy individual. (Please don’t spend the money until you earn it.)

Over time, a regular and steady diet of positive visualization will implant in your sub-conscious mind a crystal-clear, lifelike portrait of the happy, committed individual of independent means you seek to become. So why not now begin to look, act and behave like a winner. A fresh, positive, confident self-image and outlook on life slowly but surely will crowd out negative and fearful emotions; you will become more and more like the person of your dreams. Once you become confident of success, your conscious mind will step forward to help you develop a useful action plan to travel from where you are today to where you want to be in the future.

I speak from personal experience. When I co-founded Middle Age Renewal Training and began writing my first book, I was far from convinced that I could have a meaningful positive impact on others or discover the joy of living which had eluded me for so long. Nevertheless, I visualized success and began acting out the part. Today, I haven’t the slightest doubt that I chose the right path!   

To modify a familiar phrase: “You are what you think!” A daily regimen of positive thinking combined with vivid imagination and a generous dose of play acting can help you avoid midlife crisis and transform your fondest dreams into a second-half reality.

For a whole lot more on the magic of middle age renewal and to preview my book, A Mid-Life Challenge WAKE UP!, please go to our website:  www.middleagerenewal.com.

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | 163 Comments

If 60 Is the New 40, Why Do I Feel Old and Used Up at 43?

Posted on March 14, 2012 by admin

Have you heard the oft-repeated phrase “60 is the new 40″? Some may ask, “If that’s the case, why at 43 (46 or 53) do I feel like my best years are behind me?” My simple answer: “You have given into the negative emotions of growing older.” In fact, I have met unfortunate individuals who appear old and tired at 35. In contrast, I’ve met others who are joyful, energetic and full of life at age 65.

How about you? Do you look, act and feel older than your chronological age? Has youth passed you by, dreams interrupted, goals abandoned? Do you struggle each morning to face the day ahead, then worry incessantly about the months and years to come? Are you convinced beyond a doubt that crowning achievements and life’s greatest joys and rewards all are behind you? In short, do you suffer from the two common middle age curses of lost dreams and diminished expectations?  

For all too many, middle age is a stop sign, a brick wall, an indelible mark on life’s time line that shouts: “The best is over–it’s all downhill from here!” My two word response to this notion is, “Not So!”

At midlife, if not positively energized over prospects for the present and future, you are sleepwalking through life! In fact, recharged women and men in their 40′s, 50′s and 60′s are equipped and poised to make their greatest contributions, build a lasting legacy and experience the best years of their lives.

In your 40′s and 50′s , you have spent twenty to thirty years building an adult resume, gathering tools for success and gaining the experience needed to challenge the future, contribute value to others and enjoy your journey through life’s second half. You are not too old to hit the ground running! I trust you are ready to combine the enthusiasm of youth with the mature judgment of middle age–a winning combination!

For most uninspired Baby Boomers, the primary obstacles to positive, purposeful and stress-free living are self-imposed. A straight-forward solution is to set your personal alarm clock and wake up to life! I speak from experience…I spent thirty long years–my mid-twenties to my mid-fifties–sleepwalking through career and relationships. Eleven years ago, I received my wake-up call. I wouldn’t trade my life today with anyone I know.

So what’s keeping you from restoring positive emotions and full faith in the future? A solid renewal game plan and a little information, that’s all! My gift to you today is a bright new perspective on life at middle age. The only cost to you is a burning desire plus the time and energy it will take you to change. Your reward will be a totally new and joyfully different favorable outlook on life plus a solid plan and a firm commitment to make good things happen.

We’d like to help. For a detailed roadmap to positive renewal at middle age, go to our website: www.middleagerenewal.com.

Here’s a final challenge to leading edge Baby Boomers, those born shortly after the end of World War II: Let’s make age 70 the new 50!        

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | 125 Comments

The Ten Commandments of Midlife Renewal

Posted on March 13, 2012 by admin

Here are “ten commandments” to restore joy, a sense of purpose and positive expectations after age 40. No, I’m not attempting to re-write the Old Testiment! Rather these are common-sense nuggets of advice designed to help disheartened Baby Boomers along the path to a better life.

Commandment #1–I Will Not Renew Alone. Although your primary renewal commitment is to yourself, my first ground rule is to renew as part of a team. Similar to any team sport, two or more people pulling together can accomplish far more than the sum of individual efforts. You can offer inspiration to your teammates and teammates can help to motivate you.

Commandment #2–I Will Affirm My Faith in a Power Greater Than Me. This commandment is optional depending upon your religious beliefs. If you do believe in a Supreme Being loving and active in human affairs, I urge you to affirm your faith and to pray from devine intervention. No matter how unfortunate your past or present, ask God to forgive and help you wake up to a clean slate. Our lives will not suddenly become perfect, but bringing God into the picture frees us from sole reliance on our own inadequate resources.

Commandment #3–I Will Affirm Belief in Myself. Every one of us is a unique, cherished member of the human community. Every one of us has latent talent and inner resources far greater than those we are calling upon today. You will not progress far in awakening those resources without first acknowledging your worth as an individual and affirming your potential to conquer new horizons in life’s second half. Once firmly implanted, affirmation of self helps drive fear of failure from the mind.

Commandment #4–I Will Renew as a Two-Step Process. The first step is to seek inner peace and positive emotional balance, affirming favorable aspects of life today and of the direction in which you are heading. The second step is to establish and sustain favorable interpersonal relationships with loved ones, friends, work associates and those you encounter along the way.

Commandment #5–I Will Begin Thinking Outside the Lines. For genuine and lasting midlife renewal, you will need to abandon your present comfort zone and to begin thinking outside the lines. There is a reason you are less than fully satisfied with your life today so it makes no sense to continue patterns of behavior which are not working! In reformulating life at mid-stream, you seek to uncover and lock in an entirely different, uniformly positive stream of consciousness. Begin your search today for creative new outlets to apply your talents and desires.

Commandment #6–I Will Dissassociate Myself from Negative Thoughts and Negative People. Once a positive mindset is implanted deep within, you must remain constantly on-guard to prevent negative thoughts from creeping back in. As a corollary, you must not permit negative individuals around you to replant stress-inducing notions like “I can’t do this.” or “People won’t like me.” I’m not suggesting you summarily divorce your spouse, disown your children or ignore you boss simply because they are not a continual ray of sunshine but you can consciously avoid arguments. refuse to second negative comments and limit interactions when another person is in a bad mood.

Commandment #7–I Will Treat Renewal as a Major Midlife Project. Ask yourself, “Do I have anything better to do?” What would be more wonderful in life’s second half than permanent transformation of primary emotional focus from negative to postive?  I suggest you approach midlife renewal as a fundamental life-altering project of highest priority, the same as you did courtship and marriage, starting a family or searching for your first full-time job out of school.

Commandment #8–I Will Renew Both My Body and My Mind. It will be difficult to sustain a  positive life outlook and to revitalize mind and soul if you remain trapped in a 50-pound overweight body! Effective midlife transformation must include both mind and body. If out of shape and out of sorts, I suggest you initiate a physician-approved diet and exercise regimen to accompany your mental journey to a brighter tomorrow.

Commandment #9–I Will Begin Behaving Like I Already Have Changed. You needn’t wait until the final results are in. Starting this very day, begin visualizing in your mind the precise image of the positive man or woman you seek to become–then start acting out the part. As a small child, you understood that play acting and imagination really do work. Guess what–it also works for adults! Before you know it, your sub-conscious mind will take over and you will become that self-confident, uniformly positive individual of your dreams.

Commandment #10–I Will Expand My Circles of Cooperation. We’re all in this together and life is not a zero-sum game. You can best advance your positive, post-renewal agenda through a fluid series of ever-expanding networks of transitory and permanent circles of cooperation. You can best achieve this tenth commandment by viewing all challenges, large or small, positive or negative, as potentially cooperative ventures. Link up with others to push cars out of a snowdrift, elect your favorite candidate, launch a new business or help disadvantage youth in your community. Always remember, genuine cooperation requires give and take. You must seek a positive outcome for others as they seek a positive outcome for you.

My final advice: cast off lingering doubts, fears or prior inhibitions. This very day, you can initiate a fundamental mid-course correction which will lead ultimately to peace of mind,  joy in living and realistically positive expectations both for today and tomorrow.

For full details on our “ten commendments for renewal” plus a comprehensive roadmap to your very own positive second half of life, please read my book, A Mid-Life Challenge WAKE UP! For a preview, go to our website: www.middleagerenewal.com.

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | 178 Comments